Last Updated on May 6, 2026
All aboard the Terrible Thames – the Horrible Histories have taken to River Thames!
The Horrible Histories Boat Tour – what a fabulous entertaining adventure for kids and adults alike. I’m already a firm fan of the hugely successful ‘Horrible Histories’ series. Author Terry Deary has now written over 100 Horrible History titles which are now recognised as being one of the world’s bestselling non-fiction books for children. These classic historical tales have also been turned into a CBBC television series and a movie. And, the Birmingham Stage Company has produced several fabulously grisly Barmy Britain stage shows which have been seen around the world, which I, along with three young members of my family, have been lucky enough to see in London’s West End.
Now they have created the TERRIBLE THAMES, a fantastic tourist experience, which last summer entertained over 60,000 passengers, and due to its success the tour has been shortlisted for a London Tourism Award for New Tourism Business of the Year. It was with great excitement I took the three boys aged 11, 8 and 5 to set sail on an oar-inspiring Horrible Histories ‘Terrible Thames’ trip to learn about the country’s most famous river and the incredible history of London.
This theatrical boat tour is also written by Deary and Neal Foster who directed the theatre shows. Arriving in this wonderful part of the city is an adventure in itself, there was great interest as we walked past the Tower of London and along the river path before boarding the boat at Tower Bridge Quay, and taking our seats on the top deck of this Thames Riverboat. The youngest, Teddy, had never been on a boat before so he was thrilled and it just so happened to be a lovely spring day which was a bonus!
As you can imagine this was no ordinary boat trip, but one that takes you on an hour-long immersive theatre adventure where you can find out lots of interesting and unusual historic facts with a strong emphasis on the naughty bits. The premise is that schoolboy Billy has earned a trip on the Thames with his school teacher, as they sail the two of them divulge a series of quick-fire, fascinating facts and gruesome stories about the landmarks along the Thames.
The two actors did a remarkable job at keeping everyone entertained as we sailed past a series of London monuments and places of interest, with ghastly tales of Anne Boleyn’s beheading at the Tower of London and details about the Fire of London, the Clink prison, the wobbly Millennium Bridge, the frozen Thames and the Gunpowder Plot – that failed attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament in 1605. All this was punctuated by yet more spine chilling tales and shocking facts.
When we sailed past London Bridge, we all sang ‘London Bridge is Falling Down’. We passed the Golden Hinde, which was captained by Sir Francis Drake and the famous Globe Theatre which has long been associated with William Shakespeare. We saw HMS Belfast, the Shard, the glistening Savoy Hotel, Big Ben, City Hall and much more. The boys laughed furiously at fart jokes and although some things went over Teddy’s head, all three of them thoroughly enjoyed this spirited experience. And when the actors donned their pirate hats on the final leg of the tour we all sang a rousing rendition of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor?
The Terrible Thames ‘Horrible Histories’ tour is a great way to see the sights, a perfect fun-filled day out in London for all the family and a brilliant way to give the kids a sense of the vast weight of London’s history.
Sailing times vary slightly, but there are usually six per day between 11.45 am and 16.45 pm.
Embark at Tower Bridge Quay, E1W 1LD (not Tower Bridge Pier!)
ADVANCE TICKETS Adult – £22.00 (off-peak) £25.00 (peak) Senior – £20.00 (off-peak) £23.00 (peak) Child – £14.00 (off-peak) £15.00 (peak) Under 3’s – FREE. FAMILY TICKET – £65.00 (off-peak) £72.00 (peak) – (2x Adult 2x Child/1 Adult 3 x Child)
Ticket link: https://terriblethames.seetickets.com/
For Group bookings Please Phone: 0844 412 4650
TERRIBLE THAMES is hosted aboard Silver Sockeye, one of Woods Silver Fleet’s premier luxury sightseeing cruisers. Birmingham Stage Company and Woods Silver Fleet are dedicated to improving the accessibility for all visitors to this experience and ask that any assisted wheelchair access that is required is booked in advance.
Please email customerservices@terriblethames.com for more information.
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